5 years ago, when we realized that we couldn’t live in Cambria with a baby on the way, we went on the search for a place to rent. We were focusing on the Grover Beach and Pismo Beach areas since the store is down there and it didn’t matter to me where we lived as long as we were out of Cambria. We looked and looked but nothing felt right. On a hunch, Paul walked into a property management company and they directed him to the house we are currently living in. They were still doing repairs and upgrades so it was not quite complete. He brought me out to look at it and…I FELL IN LOVE as soon as I walked into the front door. I had visualized a place like it for years and could see the layout of the place as we walked through. I remember when we got to the back room, which is now Paul’s sanctuary, I was almost to tears and heard myself say “I want it”. The owner was standing next to Paul and turned to me and knew she had no choice but to rent to us. I love this house.
Today we went on another round of looking at houses. Paul called the realtor and asked that we look at a couple of houses over our price range just to see what we the differences are. So we looked at one that was 1.2mil. What’s a million dollars give you today???? Apparently a lot of big chandlers throughout the inside of the house and tacky statues in the middle of the yard. Not impressed but that’s just me and what do I know.
BUT THEN, we went to the other house we can never have.
The description as it’s written: Grandeur Expressed By This Striking Yard And Decks!Totally remodeled with many custom features. Travertine and Granite throughout. Great for entertaining! Massive Trex and Redwood Decking, Anderson Windows And Doors, 2 Family Rooms, 2 Energy Eff. Fireplace Inserts, Master Bedrooms On Both Floors, Bonus Recreation Room, Putting Green, Horse Shoe Pit, Hidden walk-in Wine Cellar, Security System And More…
It is more space than ever possibly necessary or excusable for three people. It is more than anyone should have considering only a fraction of it is going to be used regularly. It is more than we could afford to spend and still be able to do what we like on a whim. It is more than I can feel comfortable wanting to want. BUT I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I walked in and knew as I entered to a wall of windows overlooking the hillside across the way. I knew I wanted it when I looked to the left and the right of the house and there were windows in living rooms on BOTH sides. I saw parties (we found the hidden wine cellar), dinners, gathering and celebrations. I saw small paul growing up, inviting friends, wanting privacy, having sleep overs, being angry at our bourgeois life, sneaking in his girlfriend or sneaking out for the night, becoming an adult. I saw my sisters coming up and laughing at the silly that is my life and staying for a long time, afternoon get together. I was Paul and me sitting on the deck just giggling about how our life has been a surreal game of playing house, waiting for the parents to come home and break up our fun with the rules of engagement that we forgot to follow. I saw all of that.
I know it’s not going to happen, which I can honestly say makes me sad BUT I know that we will find a place that give me that feeling on a different scale. In some ways, I’m glad I had this moment & day because it made me realize that I’m not stuck to one place, that I know there is room for change in me and I still have the ability to see beyond what I know is safe and comfortable. Just knowing that makes things seem less foreboding and more fun.
**On a sidenote-I am keeping an eye on the listing to make sure that if they decide to seriously humiliate themselves and drop the price to a outrageously low price, I’m on it! I wonder if you can use a credit card to buy a house….hummm