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Monthly Archives: July 2010

Done and did-The face anyway

I woke up this morning with the need to get something DONE. It didn’t matter what it was but something that was started and put away needed to be done so I could know that it was one less thing. I looked around and saw THE quilt. It was sitting in the corner of the dining room for over a month now because I’m done looking at the sewing machine and want to put it away. I can’t until I finish this quilt and a comforter cover that just needs the back put onto it. Really, a couple of hours of work and I never have to look at the damn machine again. What’s holding me back from finishing them? I find other things to do as I’m working my way toward the machine. Ooh! I can melt old albums, Ooh! I can rearrange the cupboards, Oh wait, I want to go through my stuff and see how much I can throw out. All in the name of not finishing what I started.

So this morning, I put everything out on the dining room table (my studio as I see it in my head) and went for it. Cut, iron, sew, iron, cut, cut, iron, sew, take a break, cut, iron, iron, cut, sew, sew, curse the project, iron, sew and wait what? I’m done? Wow okay then. The face is now completed. All I have to do is go to the fabric shop with Paul and have him pick out the color of the backing. And DONE!

What do I think of it? I like it fine I guess. I put it on the bed and it looks so GUY – Ya know like it belongs on a futon in a studio apartment of a 2-0 something guy living above a liquor store in the city. The half made bed next to the crate for a night stand with the full ashtray on it with the half burnt incense from the night before when the new girlfriend wanted to be romanced rather than fucked again. The rents cheap, the rats are great entertainment but MAN what the hell is that old lady across the hall cooking now! kinda place. That’s what it reminds me of.

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2010 in ongoing project

 

No strings

When we last met here, I was going on and on about this amazing house that would just be absolutely perfect and there would be parties every night and it would just all flow into place like it always does and blah blah blah….

Realizing that we were getting sucked into fantasies of things that can’t happen even if could happen,¬† we took a step back and have decided to just stop for a couple of years. This isn’t going to be a starter home. It has been based on the reality of who we are and what we can have in the long-term. Until then, I can exhale and know I’m home for now.

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Every couple of months, I got through and purge what I have and just dump it. I generally put it out in the ally for other people to pick up rather than pass it on to people I know. By passing things on, I feel like I’m putting responsibility on someone else to hold on to items just because it was given to them. By leaving it out, there’s not connection or obligation. I can’t stand being bogged down with “Things”. It keeps us down and prevents us to just up and go if we want. I own nothing of any value. I can walk away without any regret that I’m leaving something that I’m supposed to hold onto for monetary or sentimental purposes. Yea, I get it. It sounds harsh and cold. I’ve heard it all from just about everyone who fills their lives up with things and wonders why they don’t have any space to breath. All I can say is, you can’t take it with you when you die, so why hold on to it now. But that’s just me.

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I don’t know about Paul but I know that all the talk about home ownership is coming at me from other people telling us that we HAVE to because¬† of reasons that apparently are supposed to be important to me. They’re not. I don’t care if I never own a house. In fact, I like not owning because it means that if I want out, all I have to do is pack my panties and I’m gone. Like with everything else, if it can’t fit in my Barbie suitcase, I don’t need it. No strings.

I don’t have to worry about maintenance, upkeep, taxes, property values, resale values and all that shit that comes with owning. If something breaks or I have a problem with something not being the way I like it, I make a call to the managers and they take care of it. No fuss, no muss.

Also, I think that the world needs renters to make the owners feel like they are one up on people who don’t have. I’m good with my role in all of this. I give you money and you let me live in your house. When I’m done living at your place, I stop giving you money. If you are done with me living in your place, you tell me to pack up my shit and leave. I get it. I’m good with that. No strings.

So that being said, I’m happy to say that as of now, we are done going into other people’s homes and seeing if we want to take it from them. It feels good. I think tomorrow I’m going to go through the cupboards and get rid of some stuff that I don’t want anymore.

 
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Posted by on July 18, 2010 in First house