I’m 43 years old. The last three years in my 40s were pretty much like any other year in my 30s except for 35 (weird year). I didn’t understand when some of my friends who were a bit older than me, when they asked me if I felt “it”. Unable to explain exactly what “it” was, I figured it passed me. I am not sure when “it” came to me but I don’t see “it” as a crisis because I’m not panicking or having an identity issue. I’m still me and I’m doing pretty good. However, there is something in me that wants to make more of what I have. I want to grasp things I’ve never tried to. I want. I can’t explain it. It’s more about wanting to challenge myself and accomplished more of the things that I’ve found interesting, fun or just down right scary but intriguing. Is that what the mid-life crisis is about? Crisis isn’t the word. I think we need to remove that from our language. How unfortunate for the generations before us that they had to label wanting to better themselves as a crisis. I am now officially it calling the Mid-life Balance. That’s what it is. I’m balancing what I know as my normal with new things I’m bringing into my life to make things funner, better and just a bit different.
December 2011 was a strange month for me. My mind kept playing around with the idea of creating a list of things to do for the new year. I never do resolutions because they are empty promises one makes to herself and then feels like a failure. Why do that to myself? I didn’t like the idea of a list-of-things either. Since I became a mother 6 years ago, I feel like there isn’t anything I do that doesn’t come from some list that I have either on paper or in my head. I wanted something that I can create that would be reasonable, interesting, challenging, and easily modified depending on my mood. I have been wanting to do a lot of things that I never get around to doing. I’m not one to challenge myself so to set something up like this was/is a big deal.
After going back and forth with what kinds of things I’ve wanted to do, I started writing down the things I want to complete or remove from my life. The older I get the more I want to live with the minimal of things. I didn’t think I could get rid of more but apparently I can. I gave myself projects to finish what I had started and to get stuff that’s been lingering in the corners of the house out of my space. If it hasn’t been used in the last 6 months, then there is someone else in this world who can and wants to use them, I’m sure.
The hard part came after I made my obvious list of clean ups. I started writing up all the things I wanted to do and then had to cut it down so that it wasn’t so overwhelming. Then I thought a bit deeper about it. I gave myself 12 things I want to do and I want to attempt them one per month. If I am able to complete at least five of the things on the list, I feel that I’ve done more than what I’ve done in previous years.
I wasn’t going to put the list out there but hey we are in the world. Nothing is private and in some ways that’s not so bad. So here is my life of things I want to do…
Things I want to do this year
- Standup Paddle Boarding (Jan)
- Vegan Cooking Class (Feb)
- Go on dates with Paul once a month. Try different things on dates.
- Relearn to take pictures with film camera
- Send hand written letters and cards to people in my life at least twice a month
- Half Marathon (April)
- Learn to shoot gun (March)
- Belly dancing
- Learn Archery
- Give Paul a gift a month
- New exercise
- Go to a city I haven’t been to by myself.